


once in twenty lifetimes

by Anonymous



Category: ChroNoiR
Genre: Alternate Universe - Gender Changes, Angst, Fantasy, Implied/Referenced Character Death, M/M, Reincarnation, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-03
Updated: 2021-02-25
Packaged: 2021-03-11 04:40:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 14,858
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28409373
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: A lonely vampire, a writer, and the stories that binds them together
Relationships: Kanae/Kuzuha (Nijisanji)
Comments: 9
Kudos: 128
Collections: Anonymous





	1. inside you

**Author's Note:**

> Similarities to any story are purely coincidental. A little bit of each character's lore will be incorporated but the story will go in a different way. I highly recommend that you listen to milet's 'inside you' as you read the prologue.

prologue

If his memories serve him right, it all happened sometime in December. Well, it’s not like it matters since he didn’t even have any concept of time. He sat down on his favorite spot, on top of the tallest building in the city. Memories flowed in as he reminisced about the time he first arrived in this world. 

It was in the middle of the night from what he remembered. The sky was pitch black. It looked so beautiful especially those little lights shining brightly in the sky. It was mesmerizing. The sky in the Underworld has always been red. That's why it was enough to fascinate him. As his family continued to fly to their destination, he decided to leave them and stray away. 

He flew down towards the highest building in the city and sat on the railings which he landed on. The view was a sight to behold, especially that the first snow was falling down this city. If he put it in human words, the word would be ‘fascination’. That was a word his father taught him since that was what he felt when he first met humans. 

_“You look cold.”_

He looked at the person standing beside him.

“I don’t feel cold,” he muttered looking at the snowflake that fell on his palm. 

With a fake smile plastered on his face he then said, “What a weird human.”

With an unamused expression he replied, “Isn’t it obvious that I am not human, angel?”

Chills ran down his spine when the angel smiled at him. It was weird to feel malice towards a being like him. As he sat beside him, the unsettling feeling didn’t fade. 

“Why are you here?” the angel asked as his voice changed into a threatening tone. 

It brought him confusion as to why his attitude turned 180. The angel acted as if he was up to no good when he just arrived in this world. So he honestly answered him, “To look at the view.”

The angel burst into laughter after hearing his answer. 

“Ah, you seem interesting. What’s your name?”

“Kuzuha.”

“Kanae,” he said with all smiles. “That’s the name that was given to me. It's nice to meet you,” he extended his hand towards him. He was hesitant to grab his hand but he still shook his hands since he was taught that it’s rude not to return such a greeting. The two continued to chat until the snow covered the entire city.

“So, what are you doing here?” Kanae asked.

“Learning to live with humans.”

“How interesting. Wanna hang out with me when you’re free? I can teach you about humans.”

“I’m fine. I can learn on my own.” Kuzuha immediately declined. 

“Well, I was sent here to watch over humans. So I can assure you that I can tell you more than what you need to know.”

It was a tempting offer. Kuzuha didn’t know anyone. And he was quite sure his father also didn’t know a lot. So, learning from someone who studies it first hand would benefit him. That was Kuzuha's train of thought.

He was on the fence since he didn't actually want to get involved with this angel. Even though he is a being from the heavens, something about him was unsettling. And that made him more curious about him, he wanted to know why he felt like this. Since he got nothing to lose and he was hitting two birds with one stone. He agreed to his offer.

And that's how they first met, the _'person'_ he won’t ever forget. 

As time passed by, the two became closer to each other. It was a weird combination but the two enjoyed each other's company. Kanae became a special existence to him. 

Learning about humans equated to learning more about Kanae. He never stopped talking about himself and his work as an apprentice angel dispatched in this world. The two of them spent a lot of time together. They love roaming the city, flying from one building to another, and sharing stories about their daily life in this city. Every moment was so fun until that day came 

“Ku-chan!” Kanae suddenly popped out of nowhere. "Didn't I tell you that it's dangerous to sit on the railings?"

Kuzuha gave him a glare as he said, “Didn’t I tell you to stop calling me that?”

Kanae just laughed. He thought that he forgot about their rendezvous that day. It’s been a year since he arrived in this city. Like the first time he met him, it was snowing. They were sitting on the railings which was their usual spot.

“Oh, did you know there will be a meteor shower tonight?” Kanae sounded so excited. It was as if he never saw something like that before, well, the same goes for him. “It’s just falling rocks from the sky. Was it something to be excited about?,” Kuzuha thought. 

“They talked about it earlier in the news, what was it called again?” 

Kanae smiled, “Geminids." As he stretched his arm towards the sky, he let out a sigh. 

Kuzuha's eyes were on Kanae. For a certain reason, he suddenly felt that something wasn’t right. Kanae looked at him in the eyes as he smiled, “I’m being punished.”

“Again?” he angrily said. Kuzuha was clearly upset. “For what? For being with me like the usual? I made it clear that I am not a devil but a vampire.”

“I know,” Kanae laughed “It’s just that the higher ups don’t see you that way.”

“What punishment are they giving you this time?”

Kuzuha was caught off guard when Kanae suddenly grabbed his hand. The confused expression on his face was enough to make Kanae laugh. To Kanae, he was just an interesting fellow. His job was to actually watch over Kuzuha and put an end to his life if he was up to something evil. But as he learned more about him, his feelings started to change. 

As Kanae intertwined his fingers with his, he sweetly smiled. He looked at him in the eyes and said, “I can no longer ascend. I will become a human.”

“Huh?”

“Won’t that be nice since I’ll be an object of your affection from now on. You love humans, right?”

Confusion continued to take over as he said, “Kanae, what are you saying? I can’t follow.”

Kanae noticed that the meteor showers started falling. He stood up from where they were sitting and pulled Kuzuha along with him. And as they fell down from the building like a beautiful meteor shower, he wrapped his arms around him. Kuzuha immediately opened his wings in order to reduce the velocity of their fall.

“Hey, what the hell are you doing?” he angrily said.

He began to notice that Kanae’s embrace became tighter. He doesn’t want to say it but what he’s doing feels ominous. He didn’t like it. He then whispered to his ear, “Hey, Kuzuha, do you believe in destiny?” 

“No. I don’t,” he coldly replied. And at that moment, Kuzuha had a gist of what was going on. 

Kanae pulled away from the hug and smiled when he saw the sad expression on Kuzuha’s face. 

“Shit, was it today?” Kuzuha thought.

“Too bad. Because I do,” he muttered. “Fate was the reason why I met you...”

He held Kuzuha’s hand as they stayed afloat in the skyline. As he firmly grasped their intertwined hands he said, “... and destiny is the reason why I have to leave you.”

With a beautiful smile plastered on his face, he slowly lets go of his hand. Kuzuha tried to grab his hand one last time. But as Kanae spreads his wings, he slowly turns into a golden speck of dust. Kanae opened his arms as if asking him to hug him one last time. As Kuzuha flew towards him feeling his warmth for the last time, Kanae whispered to his ears a promise that he will keep for a lifetime. “Until we meet again, Al-”

It was as if Kanae truly timed everything. As the meteor shower falls from the sky along with the snow that slowly covers the whole city, Kuzuha lets go of the last speck of dust from his hand. He could feel tears fall down from his face as he watched it get blown by the winter wind. He clutched his chest as he remembered the words that Kanae left him. He gave his favorite scenery one final look. It was too unfair to have such a beautiful setting for a goodbye.

And just like that, Kuzuha closed his eyes and everything faded to black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I shall remain anonymous until the end. I lost count of the years but it's been a while since I've written something. This story was written years ago. I'm glad it found the characters that fit for this piece. I plugged in the lore that ChroNoiR has since it truly intrigued me. Please forgive me for any mistakes since I plan to beta the story once I'm done with everything.
> 
> I dedicate this to my friend, this is for you. The reason why I became a ChroNoiR fan. Thank you for giving me the confidence to post. I hope you all enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing this. I will try to post the first chapter this week. I hope you listened to 'inside you' since the song invokes the feelings that I have as I wrote the prologue.
> 
> Have a nice day everyone! Let's brain rot until the end! :)


	2. twenty five twenty one

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by my favorite song from Jaurim. Please enjoy reading!~
> 
> cw: mention of blood

“This is amazing!” were the only words Kanae was able to say when he saw the house right before his eyes.

He can’t believe that in a couple of days he will be living in this place. There is no house more perfect for him than this place. Everything he went through to get there was worth it. He expected the backlash of his rash actions since he lied about going home after pulling an all-nighter in the office.

It’s just that a part of him can’t resist so he hopped on the train and went to the address that was given to him by Yuri a while back. He was supposed to be going around the area with Ryushen but curiosity gain a better hold of him that he went without Ryushen knowing. He was expecting to get an earful the moment he comes back to the office. It’s just that something was telling to come there and see the place for himself.

What he didn’t expect when he arrived was that the bus around this area only comes on schedule. So he had no choice but to walk his way to this house. It wasn’t a good idea to do that when you lack sleep since he felt like he could pass out anytime. As he looked around the surroundings down the road he was treading, you’ll see nothing but greenery. It gives off a feeling that you’ll be instantly spirited away. And that kind of feeling excites him even more.

He stopped on his tracks when he felt that he reached the place. He checked his phone’s map to see if he got the place right and even checked the photo sent to him. The address was also written outside. He was at awe. This old western style house felt like it was purposely hidden in the area filled with traditional houses. The house looked like it was owned by a noble back in the days and was carefully preserved as it withstand the test of time.

So, he carefully opened the gates and was surprised to see the huge the garden that surrounded the pathway leading to the front door. Ryushen already gave the caretaker a heads up that they will be coming sometime this week. It’s just that he came earlier than the time they were supposed to go. Either way, it was still within the week. So, it must be fine, or so he thought.

He knocked on the door twice before noticing the doorbell on the side. Before he pushed the button, the door opened. Before he could greet the person who opened the door, the person slowly fainted towards him. And as reflex goes, Kanae grabbed the person to prevent him from falling.

“Sir?”

Panic was written on Kanae’s face. Even though he can feel the man’s breath on his neck, he was trying to simulate what he needed to do in this kind of situations in his head. Thankfully, the man groaned as a reply. Kanae sighed in relief when he responded. He wrapped his arm around his waist and on his back so he can lay this person down to perform first aide.

“Sir, get a hang of yourself. Just stay awake. Okay. I’ll keep talking to you. Don’t worry, okay. I’ll call the ambulance and take you to the nearest hospital. Everything will be fine.”

Kanae kept on trying to make a conversation just to keep this person awake. Then, the man grabbed his shoulder which made him surprised.

“Sir?”

And in the midst of the confusion, he felt a sharp pain coming from his neck as two fangs slowly sink in his flesh. He let out a gasp as he felt blood slowly being drawn out of his neck. He then felt an inexplicable heat coming from the bite that slowly permeates through out his body.

“This scent. It smells so familiar,” the man said to himself.

As he began to have a taste of Kanae’s blood, he slowly snapped back to reality. He immediately pulled away and saw the relieved look on Kanae’s face as he suppressed his neck that continues to bleed. He smiled and before he could even say a word, Kanae lost consciousness.

xxx

“Ah, this dream again,” Kanae thought.

He had this dream ever since he was young. Flying on top of the city’s skyline with someone he was fond of and then everything will just turn to black when he landed on top of the building. He have seen it multiple times that it feels more like a memory rather than a dream. This time it was different. It was snowing and the stars were falling. The person in front of him was blurry that he can’t make off the person’s appearance. He reached for him as he called out his name.

“Al-”

Then, he woke up.

The moment he opened his eyes, he immediately saw the guy sitting across him. He was wearing a black tracksuit and seems like he was scrolling on his phone. Kanae sat up and immediately felt a pang of pain coming from his head.

“Oh, you’re awake.”

Kanae groaned, “Sorry, but what happened?”

“You passed out the moment I opened the door.”

“Huh?” Kanae thought.

Before Kanae could ask another question, the sound of the kettle resonated on the room. The guy excused himself to check on it.

“I’ll be back.”

Kanae pulled out his phone from his pocket. He immediately checked on his neck. There were no signs of bruises or anything. He was confused whether everything was a dream or a hallucination, or whatever you call that. But what he can’t shake off was the feeling he felt when the fangs sank on his neck. It felt so real that he can’t just brush it off.

“Drink this tea. It will make you feel better.”

Kanae almost dropped his phone from shock when he appeared beside him like a ghost.

He was hesitant to drink the tea but he can’t refuse someone who technically helped him. It will be bad if he raised suspicions towards him especially that he’ll be living in this place. He took a sip and somehow felt relieved from his headache.

“I heard that you were supposed to come with Ryushen.”

Kanae flinched as he put the teacup down on the table, “About that.”

So, Kanae explained what he did. He suddenly felt bad for causing trouble.

“I kinda see that coming so I contacted Ryushen. They’ll be here in a while since you’ve been sleeping for over an hour.”

“Eh?”

The guy stood up and said, “For the mean time, I can show you around. We can go upstairs so you can pick a room.”

Kanae was elated. He might look cold but he is doing his best to be accommodating towards him who is an unexpected guest. Well, it’s true that you shouldn’t judge a book with it’s cover. No words can describe how beautiful the interior was. It felt like time stopped inside the house with the amount of antique looking furniture that is displayed all over the house. Despite all that, it looks so well-maintained that it doesn’t even look old in the inside. He started to wonder how Yuri managed to get a hold of this house. Moreover, he started to wonder why a young guy like him decided to be a caretaker of Yuri’s property.

“Do you have any preferences?”

“Nothing really,” he replied as he snapped back to reality.

“You can stay in Yuri’s room if you want to.”

He let out a laughter, “Sorry, but I’ll pass.”

“Eh? Is that so?”

When they arrived on the second floor, Kanae picked the furthest room in the hallway. It has the best window view and it will be delightful during this Spring. The guy tried to make the conversation flow which Kanae finds amusing. He doesn’t strike like a person who is talkative but he was trying his best.

He then asked, “So, what are you doing for a living?”

“I kill people,” Kanae said with a sweet smile plastered on his face.

The two stared at each other in silence for a moment until it was broken by the sound of the doorbell.

“It seems like Ryushen is here,” Kanae said.

He sighed since he still wanted to talk especially that they found a good topic.

“The timing of these things were truly impeccable,” Kanae thought. “First, the kettle now the doorbell.”

The two hurried down. And when he opened the door, Kanae immediately received an earful from Ryushen.

“Sorry for the inconvenience,” Ryushen bowed down in front of him.

“It’s fine. Don’t worry about it.” “I’ll call you later.”

Kanae waved him goodbye as Ryushen dragged him to the car.

He just watched the two go as Ryushen drove away .Kanae remembered that he didn’t get to ask the name of the person living in Yuri’s house.

“You’ll get to know him soon, anyway.”

“Ah, you’re right. I am so looking forward to move out.”

Ryushen was fixing the rear-mirror and chills run down their spine when they got a glimpse of Kanae’s expression. Kanae was clearly smiling but his eyes weren’t.

As he lowered the window, Kanae tried to recall everything that happened. A lot of things doesn’t add up. The more he wants to know answers, more questions pile up. He slowly touched that part of his neck. What he “experienced” felt like a scene out from a fantasy film. He was unsure of what truly happened. It could be a dream, who knows. But something about this doesn’t feel human. Is it intuition or just him being immersed by the things he have read that he began to mix fantasy with reality?

xxx

“You haven’t change a bit." Kuzuha felt his heart clench as he closed the door the moment he left.

He took a sigh as he muttered under his breath, "Kanae.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 1 is here. I’m sorry it took a while for me to think of a song that will fit the chapter. I was also drafting the other chapters. Everything was written with a midnight high so mistakes are bound to happen. Still, I hope you enjoy this chapter. I might beta this when I wake up.
> 
> From the bottom of my heart, I would like to thank you for taking your time to read this story. I truly appreciate it. You don’t know how much it means to me.
> 
> That’s enough rambling for me. I hope that you’ll have a nice week. See you next update!~


	3. home

"Ryushen!" Kanae whined. "I was given a weird nickname." 

He slumped on the sofa lamenting about what he just read. Ryushen was busy looking through the designs that Kanae chose as the cover of his next book. They took a glimpse of what he was up to and saw the sample of the magazines where Kanae was last interviewed. 

Ryushen stopped for a moment and asked, "What did they call you?

"He rolled his eyes and muttered, "The Grim Reaper and the Harbinger of Death."

“No way.” Ryushen said bursting into laughter.

“This is why I never want to do interviews”

Ryushen was still laughing since the nickname given to him was not far from the truth. 

“Well, this is why they sent a sample first. If you don’t want them to be published, I can tell the editor-in-chief so we can edit it out."

“It’s fine. I’m quite sure they are just trying to match my moniker with the genres I write,” Kanae sighed. “This is the first time I accepted an interview plus the magazine is under our company so it can be good publicity for both.”

“I can’t believe that Kanakana actually cares for the company,” Ryushen replied as they wiped an invisible tear. 

Kanae just mockingly laughed at Ryushen as he flipped the pages of the magazines in front of him. 

"By the way, did you like the house?" Ryushen asked, trying to divert the topic since Kanae seems to have lost his mood. 

As soon as Ryushen asked that question Kanae’s expression suddenly brightened, "Yeah," he nodded. "It's perfect, I feel like I'll be having a great time living there."

Ryushen was surprised to see that Kuzuha caught Kanae’s interest since he isn't the type of person to be easily amused nor intrigued by something or someone else unless it is related to his work. 

“Zuha is a bit awkward but he’s a funny guy,” Ryushen said as they continue their work.

“Zuha?” Kanae asked.

With a confused look on their face Ryushen looked at Kanae and said, “Didn’t he introduce himself to you?”

“No.”

“That idiot,” Ryushen muttered. "Well, from what I heard from Yuri the caretaker of that house is Kuzuha. I don't know much of the details but it's more likely that you know more than me since this is Yuri that we are talking about.”

“Yeah, I am returning the favor as I am still indebted towards her,” Kanae said. Ryushen noticed the sad look in his eyes. They didn't pry on and went back to work. He did a little bit of stretching and went back to what he was working on. He was meant to write the dedication for his latest book. It's been long overdue but it seems like he can't find the right words to say. As he tried to think, Kuzuha came across his mind which made him smile. 

"Yuri truly knows how to peak my interest until the end," he thought.

xxx

A week has passed. The time Kanae officially moved into the house came. Ryushen can feel the sheer excitement on Kanae’s face as soon as they arrive at their destination.

The sight of the house still takes his breath away. It’s just that it gives off a feeling of being transported in another universe. He knew that many stories will be born from this house. This is the first time in his life that he felt excited to write. 

“See you in a few weeks. I’ll send you a message when there are changes in the schedule,” Ryushen said before they drove off. 

Kanae saw them off before opening the gate where he saw Kuzuha tending the lilies growing in the garden. When he spotted him, he immediately stopped from working and walked in front of the porch to welcome him.

"I'm back," Kanae excitedly said.

Kuzuha looked at him and said, "Welcome home."

The atmosphere was not awkward. It's just that Kuzuha seemed aloof that it might take a while for him to open up. Even though he is also not much of a talker, Kanae decided to make the first move. 

“I forgot to introduce myself last time. I'm Kanae. It's nice to meet you.” He extended his hand towards Kuzuha.

Kuzuha felt his heart clench as he heard those words. He noticed that Kuzuha’s hand was trembling as he extended his hand towards his. Kanae felt how cold Kuzuha’s hand was as they shook each other’s hand. 

"I'm Kuzuha."

"Please take care of me from now on."

"Likewise."

As they entered the house, Kuzuha set a few rules to Kanae. He can’t enter a few premises in the household. The two rooms with the white door on the first floor which he claimed as his room and the attic on the second floor. Other than that he can freely do whatever he wanted inside the house.

"I heard from Yuri that you are the caretaker of this house. I can't believe that she left this beautiful property."

Kuzuha laughed which made Kanae more than surprised. 

"Oh, he can make that kind of expression. How cute," he thought. 

"Is that what she said? Well, it's true that I am taking care of this house. And that is because I am the owner of this house."

"Eh?"

xxxx

"Have you finished unpacking? Do you need any help?"

Kanae flinched when Kuzuha suddenly appeared by his side. He didn’t even knock and just entered the room. 

"Ah. It's fine. I didn’t own that much to begin with.

Kanae used to live in a small apartment since he was trying to match the setting of his last book in order to grasp the feeling that the character had. He lived there for a few years. He only owned a couple of clothes, his laptop, his high-end PC, some books, and stacks of paper. Kanae is the type that writes down everything before writing the final output. That's why he can't throw anything since every single piece of paper holds a significance. Some of the important parts of his book were all from ideas he scratched before. He really doesn't understand his thought process but he's glad that things work out finely. 

"When you're done, go downstairs. I prepared something," Kuzuha left the room before Kanae could even reply. 

Kanae laid on the floor as he looked around. He still can't believe that he is freeloading in such a beautiful house. He tried to insist to Kuzuha that he will rent the room instead but he said that he is just fine with having someone as company and that remark somehow scared him. He still can't forget what happened when they first met. So for now, he'll stay cautious of Kuzuha. 

Kanae went downstairs just in time since the food delivery just arrived. He didn't expect Kuzuha to do some kind of moving in celebration since he doesn't look like he'll do something like this.

Everything has been set. All they have to do is eat. Then, Kuzuha said, "Once again, welcome. I hope you enjoy your stay here."

Kanae sat down on the sofa and said, "Thank you. I think I will."

As soon as Kuzuha got food on his plate, he then said, "I'm glad that Yuri taught me things like this. I heard that it’s rude not to welcome people when they moved in. I don’t want to be scolded like last time."

"Oh," Kanae thought. "So, it was Yuri's idea."

xxx

"Kuzuha may not be human," Kanae thought. 

He had an inkling ever since that incident. It's just that it felt too real to become a dream. So, over the past few weeks, Kanae wrote the points he wanted to prove. It was an idea he hypothesized during his ride home on the first day they met. After mulling over and over again, he decided to look for a conclusion for that idea. Thus, his research began. 

He started observing Kuzuha. He actually wanted to talk to him but striking a conversation with Kuzuha was quite hard since they all end up after two questions. 

So, Kanae began wandering around the house instead to where he could see Kuzuha. In order to not look suspicious, he made it look like he is doing work by writing down scribbles on his journal. 

From his observation, Kuzuha's routine was normal. He usually hangs around the living room, watching TV or playing games. They usually eat together but there are times he holes himself inside the room so he leaves the food outside which he sees empty by the time he passes by. He can relate since he is sometimes like that. In the afternoon, he'll tend the garden. Then, they'll have tea in the terrace while having short conversations. The more he observed Kuzuha, the more human-like he was. He accepted the fact that he was wrong and it must have been a dream since he indeed lacked sleep that time. 

In the course of his stay, Kanae spends most of his time inside the library. He already finished exploring the house. The house's interior were mixed with modern design. You'll see a lot of red, black, and white around the house. And there are a lot of antique things in the house which sits well with everything. It's like you are living in a museum but it the homey vibe is still there. 

But what astonished him the most was that moment when he found out about the library. It was well-kept. You can't see a speck of dust inside. The ambient light, the cool temperature and the smell of old books everything was perfect. It is the only place in the house were you can feel that time has stopped. The library is connected to an office which Kuzuha said he can use freely. But he still preferred sitting down the aisle since he usually spent his time like that when he was in high school. 

He sat down on the floor as he scratched off his ideas in his journal. In the course of observing him, he began to know more stuff about the guy whom he is extremely interested in. So, he began to list the things he currently knew about Kuzuha since the possibility that his muse for his next novel is him. 

From what he got, their common denominator was Yuri. He found it amusing since he never heard about him from Yuri before. Yuri is talkative and the stories she has to tell are never-ending but she never spoke about him. He is somehow interested in his relationship with Yuri since they are polar opposites just like him. 

When he asked him what he thought of Yuri. Kuzuha just softly smiled and said, “An interesting woman.”

xxxx

Kuzuha knew that Kanae was observing him. He wasn’t even hiding it especially that the way he acts is like he was observing one of his test subjects. He might not show it but he was slightly bothered by his actions especially with what he said last time about his job. So they are both equally wary of each other in a sense. 

So, Kuzuha had a brilliant idea of inviting him for tea. He can't help but laugh at Kanae's face when he invited him since it was Kanae who usually asked him to join him. 

As the two walked down the hall, Kuzuha began to initiate a conversation. 

"Are you liking your stay so far?" Kuzuha asked. 

"Yeah." Kanae nodded. "I never stayed in a place that felt like home before."

"That's good, then."

Since the afternoon weather was nice, Kuzuha set everything in the terrace. The atmosphere felt like a meeting rather than a friendly tea invitation. Kanae watched Kuzuha pour tea on his cup. And as Kanae took a sip, Kuzuha suddenly said, "I was kicked out of our household. Father took pity on me and gave me this house.”

“What?” Kanae almost choked from his drink upon hearing what Kuzuha just said. 

"Is it okay to tell me that?"

Kuzuha took a sip from his cup and said, “Isn’t it important to earn your trust since we are living together? It’s not like we’ll act like strangers inside the house where it’s just the two of us.”

Those words hit Kanae like a nail since for the past few weeks he’s been suspecting Kuzuha into something he might not even be. He somehow felt guilty by what he heard. 

"So, you knew?" Kanae nervously said.

It was the first time Kanae felt nervous that he couldn't even look at Kuzuha in the eye. Even though he was trying to build his relationship with him by getting to know him, the underlying agenda he had outweighed everything. It seems like his way of trying ends up putting a distance between them.

"Well, you were quite obvious."

Kanae felt so embarrassed by his actions so he immediately apologized to Kuzuha for doing those things.

"It wasn't my intention. I wanted to get to know you that my actions ended up making you feel uncomfortable. It was kind of hard to approach you."

Kuzuha let out a laughter, "My bad. It's okay. It was just interesting seeing someone roaming around like a cat in the house."

He can't help but tease Kanae especially that he was making interesting expressions.

"Augh," Kanae flushed red. "In return of my actions, you can ask me any question. I swear, I'll answer honestly."

Kuzuha wanted to just let it go. But hearing those statements piqued his interest, this could finally will make the things he was worried about go away.

"Then, what was the reason why you moved here?" He looked at Kanae who was also looking at him in the eyes.

"Ah, I'm trying to find inspiration for my next novel."

"Eh, so you're really a writer?"

Kanae laughed, “Haven’t I told you about that?”

“Don’t remember. So, what books have you written?”

Kanae was contemplating whether he'll tell or not but then he thought it won't matter anyway since Kuzuha doesn't seem like the guy who will spill this kind of stuff. Plus he owes him for what he just did. 

"Have you heard of 'fleeting'?

"Oh, that one with the upcoming film. I saw the trailer on the news."

"Yeah, I wrote that. I'm that mysterious author. The one people are searching for."

Kuzuha stood up from his seat, "Are you for real?"

"What's with this reaction?" Kanae thought.

"Wait," Kuzuha ran and went to his room. When he went out, he was holding a familiar book. "You wrote this?"

Kanae nodded. Kuzuha opened the book and showed Kanae the message and sign of the author.

"Oh, that's nostalgic," Kanae grabbed the book and fondly looked at the message he wrote, "I only signed a few books. But there's only one copy where I wrote a message. Yuri asked me to write a message for a fan. What a small world this is for you to end up to be that fan."

Kuzuha sat down on the couch. Still unable to believe that the writer of the book that made him cry is sitting across him.

“Let me guess, you’re the type of guy who reads sappy stories. Those unexpected meetings turned into romances?”

Kuzuha blushed, “What’s wrong with liking those kinds of stories?” 

This is the first time they were having a proper conversation. Although it started badly, it's good that Kuzuha was lowering his guard around him. The atmosphere around them is slowly getting better than before. Maybe, it’s just that they clear the suspicions around each other that it is more comfortable than before. 

“I also enjoy reading stories with like that. But the best ones are those that end up tragically because they are closest to reality.”

“Well, I can agree to that,” Kuzuha replied.

When he looked at Kuzuha, his expression looked like he was longing for someone who no longer exist, he doesn't understand why he suddenly felt a sharp pain coming from his chest.

“Ah, I want to know more about this guy,” Kanae thought. 

Kuzuha looked at him quite concerned, "Is it alright to tell me that secret?"

"I see no harm with that," Kanae nonchalantly said.

"Is it alright to trust me like that?"

Kanae smiled, "Well, aren't we living under the same roof? So we need to trust each other right? Plus you’ll find out about it sooner or later so it’s fine either way."

"Then, I'll tell you a secret."

Kanae was all ears. "Oh, sure. What is it?" 

"I'm a vampire." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was planning to update a few weeks ago. But due to the nature of my work I had to finish everything before going back to writing. To you who is reading this, I can’t express how happy I am that you came across what I’ve written. It is enough to keep me going, to help me keep writing. I am extremely thankful. I hope you look forward to the upcoming chapters. I will update once I’ve finished all the things that is needed for work. Thank you very much for leaving kudos. I truly appreciate it. Until then, I wish you all a great day! :)


	4. greetings and goodbyes

"I see," Kanae nonchalantly replied. 

Kuzuha was taken aback by Kanae's reaction. 

"Sorry. I somehow knew," Kanae said as he gave Kuzuha a smile. 

He might look calm in front of Kuzuha but he was reacting internally after hearing what he just said. To think that he was right all this time after trying to deny what he was trying to prove. Honestly, he can't believe it. 

Kanae looked at Kuzuha who seemed relieved by what he just said. He then asked, “Are you sure you can reveal something like that?”

“Isn’t your identity on the same level? It’s a good bargain, right?”

“You,” Kanae said as he burst into laughter. “You’re really interesting.”

At that moment, Kuzuha felt his heart wrenched as he saw an overlapping image of someone he knew from back then. 

"I genuinely thought that you'll be scared." Kuzuha replied, brushing off what he just felt since it won’t do him any good if he kept on remembering those feelings he had. 

"Well, you had a better expression when I told you that I kill people. For me, there are more terrifying things in life. It happens that to me, your identity is more interesting than scary."

"Aren't you angry that I lied to you?"

"You had a reasonable excuse why you need to lie. Even if you revealed that day that you're a vampire, I don't think my reaction will change. I'll still move in regardless."

To Kuzuha, those statements were enough. He chuckled, "What a weird human."

" Well, to someone like me, it's fascinating. It's just the idea of sharing a house with someone an immortal seems like it came out straight out of a fantasy book."

"I'm glad," Kuzuha said with a sense of relief. 

"Then," Kanae extended his hand towards him and said, "I'll be in your care from now on, Kuzuha."

Kuzuha took his hands and shook it, "Please take care of me, Kanae."

That was the first time they ever called each other’s names. And for some reasons, Kanae felt the same pang of sadness when he heard Kuzuha call his name. 

As the two continued to talk, the more comfortable they felt towards each other since the past few weeks they were technically on the edge with each other. 

"So, how's your novel coming along?" 

Kanae sighed. Kuzuha then wondered if it's a taboo to ask such things to a writer. 

"Still working on ideas I'll dive into," Kanae said with a smile. 

He may look like he was smiling but his eyes weren't. It must be hard for him right now since he just moved in and is probably looking for inspiration since he’s been seeing him frequent the library for the past few weeks. So Kuzuha thought for a minute, then he said, "Would you like to hear stories from my previous life?"

"Eh?" Kanae can't believe what he just heard. "Are you sure about that? Is that really okay?"

That moment Kanae felt like he was given a once in a lifetime chance, a miracle, so he better grab hold of it as he doesn't know until when this interaction lasts. 

"Yes," Kuzuha said in assurance.

"By all means," Kanae said as he bowed down.

"What's up with that?" Kuzuha laughed. 

He then teased Kanae by saying, "Aren't you gonna write it down in the journal you always bring around?"

The guy who was sitting across him flushed red as he replied, "I will hate it if the person I was talking to doesn’t pay attention to me."

Kuzuha just laughed as he refilled his cup with tea.

"I see. Well then, where shall I start?"

Kuzuha looked at the reflection of the white-haired woman on his cup of tea and slowly memories flowed into Kuzuha's mind as he began to tell the story from his past life.    
  


xxxx

"Lady Sanya!"

Sanya who was enjoying her afternoon cup of tea frowned the moment her court lady entered her room. She somehow felt that she would deliver to her another pile of work when she just finished a bunch a while ago. She carefully put down the teacup and said, "What is it, Lily?" 

"A letter arrived from the royal palace," she excitedly said.

"And?" Sanya nonchalantly replied.

"The princess is inviting you to her tea party," Lily happily declared.

"Ha? Who?” Sanya was surprised. “From what I’ve remembered the princess dislikes social gathering?”

Lily handed her the letter with a familiar looking seal that only the Emperor can use. She opened the envelope. And as she read the content of the letter, all she could do was sigh.

"Go and call the butler. Get ready since we are going out."

"Yes, young miss.”

As soon as Lily went out of her room, Sanya let out another sigh. The amount of problems that she needed to look through are piling one by one, on top of what her father left for her. She then wondered if this is to spite her from dodging the responsibilities all these years. If it is, she swears that she won’t ever step inside this household again and run away to another nationHer train of thoughts got cut when she heard a knock on the door. She watched it open as the butler entered the room.

“You summoned me, young lady.”

Sanya, who was unamused by her current situation, ordered the butler to prepare the carriage. “Lily and I are going out.”

The butler looked confused, “My lady is going out? That’s rare.”

“It is indeed rare. I’ll go get the new dress I designed since I’ve been summoned to the palace to meet the princess.”

“The princess?” The butler was equally surprised as her since it was a known fact that the princess doesn’t hold a social event nor attends them. Well, Sanya can’t speak for herself since she neglected her duties as a noble for a long time. 

“My lady, are you sure the invitation is really from the princess not from the old geezers who wanted a connection with the Ducal family?"

She showed him the envelope containing the king’s seal. “Either way, it’s quite interesting to see the princess making an unusual move. I’ll humor her for once.”

Sanya then wrote a reply. She then told her butler to deliver it personally to the palace. He needs to make sure that it reaches the princess and not to the hands of anyone else. 

xxxx

“Aren’t you excited, young lady?” Lily said as she brushed her hair.

“Not really,” Sanya replied. Lily can see how unamused Sanya was. Since it was rare for her to go out, Lily went out of her way to glam Sanya up. That’s why it felt like her look was too much for a tea party. Her trip to the palace wasn’t to impress the princess or something. If she had to, she could have gone and wore her uniform. But she doesn’t want to offend a person whom she will meet for the first time. Since the princess clearly invited her for a tea party, not for a meeting. 

“My lady truly looks beautiful,” Lily said as she gave Sanya the set of jewels that would suit her black dress. The black dress embroidered with golden flowers suits her as it makes her white hair stand out even more. The rubies she was wearing that reflected the color of her eyes sets everything. 

In terms of beauty, no one will be on par with Sanya. It’s just that she doesn’t pay too much attention with her looks that she sees herself as an average looking individual. But in reality, people turn their heads whenever they see her even though she has a cold demeanor. As soon as she finished preparing, she headed out to the palace.

When the carriage arrived at the palace, the princess’ butler was waiting for her.

“Greetings to the young lady of the Lagusa family,” the young guy said as he bowed his head.“I’m Lorence Tonnerre. I will escort the young lady to the Emperor’s office.”

“Huh?” Sanya thought. “The Emperor’s office? Isn’t the princess supposed to be one whom I’ll meet today?”

It wasn’t her first time in the palace. She is actually quite familiar with the palace’s interior since she was stationed there before she was dispatched to the front lines. That’s why she saw familiar faces as they walked towards the King’s office. 

Lorence then left her inside the room which was guarded by people whom she knew. They bowed down as soon as she saw them. She can’t help but feel conscious since they are people whom she worked with. After a few minutes, she heard the butler announcing the princess’ arrival. As he opened the door, she stood up and immediately bowed her head as she curtsied in front of the princess whom she will see for the first time.

“Greetings to the Star of the Empire, the Imperial Princess. Aleksandra Sanya Lagusa is pleased to meet you, your highness.”

“Please raise your head, Lady Sanya.”

Sanya raised her head. And as her eyes laid upon the princess for the first time, she could feel the bottled feelings inside punch her in the guts. She almost muttered the name of the person she’s been searching for in this life. 

“Kanae,” Sanya could feel herself tearing up just thinking about his name. 

Her eyes were on her the whole time as she tried to keep herself together. The resemblance was too strong for her not to be him. The long flowy ash blonde hair, her eyes were blue with shades of gray, the gentle look on her face, even the mole under her eye. It was no doubt that the person standing in front of her was Kanae.

“I am delighted to finally meet you, Lady Sanya. Please take a seat.”

Sanya sat down. The food was then served along with her favorite tea. When everything was served, the princess ordered everyone inside the room to be immediately dismissed. That alone made this tea party more suspicious. She doesn’t know if they are comfortable knowing what her standing is for them to leave her alone with the princess. It seems like they trust her too much. It’s not like she’s plotting something against the princess but it was a bit weird to put this level of trust to someone they just met.

“I heard a lot of interesting stuff about Lady Sanya,” the princess said as she sipped her tea.

Sanya who finished drinking her tea replied, “I wonder what weird humors have reached your ear, your highness.”

“Just this and that,” she said as she smiled. “I actually didn’t expect you to accept my invitation. Since it was known in the whole empire that the Ducal family is quite elusive.”

“Well, it will be preposterous of me to turn down the invitation of the princess. How about we cut to the chase, your highness?” Sanya said as she sliced down her cake.

The princess smiled as she said, “So, you’ve seen through me.”

The two looked at each other as the princess’ gentle expression changed into a serious one. 

“Well then. Lady Sanya, I summoned you here in the palace because I would like to appoint you as my knight.”

Sanya was surprised. She didn’t see that coming. She knew that the princess wanted to build a connection with their family but in a different way. In accordance with the Empire’s law, the princess has the will to choose her knight regardless of their rank or status in life. She has no right to refuse since this is her duty to fulfill as the knight of the Empire. Nothing more, nothing less.

She took a sip of her tea before answering the princess, “Yes.”

The princess was surprised. She didn’t expect that she would immediately succeed with her plan since she was planning to use a few more aces on her sleeves to bring Sanya to her side. 

“You can easily disregard my title as a dame. You can bring me to your side as your lady in waiting. But you chose me to become your knight, I am more than happy to know that you see my position not only as a noble but also as a knight. And with that I will accept your offer. I will be your knight, your highness.”

The princess burst into tears upon hearing those words which made Sanya panic. She immediately pulled her handkerchief which Lily conveniently put on her pocket. The princess took it as she wiped her tears.

“Thank you, Lady Sanya for accepting my offer,” the princess replied as she continued to sob. “I may or may not have an underlying agenda as to why I made you my knight.”

Her response made Sanya burst into laughter, “Princess, are you really going to spill the beans in front of me?”

The princess stopped crying the moment she saw Sanya’s expression. It felt like time stood still as she watched her laugh, she was enchanted by the lady in front of her. Sanya was known for having a cold demeanor. But when she laughed, she looked like an innocent child. And that made her look incredibly beautiful in the princess’ eyes.

Sanya tried to compose herself once again. She then cleared her throat as she said, “I know that the princess has heard the rumors that I will inherit the title of my father and will become the next duchess. Well, about that.”

“Is there something wrong?” the princess said, quite confused. Sanya knew that the princess was after her family’s name, not only for protection since she was sure that she heard of her achievements in the battle field.

“You don’t need to worry about anything with regards to our family. I would like to inform that princess that I have been Duchess of the Lagusa Family for a few years now. I’ve been managing the business as well as the household under the guidance of my brother. If the empire will benefit with the alliance to our family, I don’t think it’s a bad idea since it will benefit our business as well. I can see it as an opportunity to make the Lagusa prosper more.”

The princess was surprised since Sanaya took the words that she wanted to ask herself from her mouth. 

Sanya then stood up and knelt in front of the princess, “I, Aleksandra Sanya Lagusa, Duchess of the Lagusa Family, pledge allegiance to the Imperial Princess of the Empire, Kanaria Eclair Del Cielo.”

The princess was too astonished by Sanya’s action that she also stood up and grabbed one of the swords that were on display in the office. As she unsheathed the sword, she performed the ritual that is usually done in front of other nobles and bestowed a blessing on Sanya.

“I, Kanaria Eclair Del Cielo, bestow my blessing as the Imperial Princess to Aleksandra Sanya Lagusa. As my knight, protect me with all your might as I will do the same for the sake of the Empire.”

It was an informal ceremony but it is more than enough to assure their relationship. It was a strong foundation for the trust that they have to build from now on. Since Kanaria stated her intention in her letter, Sanya wanted to see it through until the end. Kanaria held out her hand in which Sanya planted a kiss on to seal the deal between the two, and this marked the beginning of their relationship that she never saw coming.

xxxx

Kana, the Imperial Princess of the Empire, aimed to become the Empress. In order to get what she wanted, she’s been doing things behind the scenes in order to increase her wealth and power. She has been extending her influence to the social circle using a different alias with her people since no one remembered how the princess looked like. They knew of her existence but no one really saw her in flesh after that incident. Kana’s mother, the Empress, died during her coming-of-age party. Since then no one saw her as she hole herself inside the palace. The Emperor never batted an eye when her mother died or even cared for her. It was still a surprise that the Emperor never removed the power she could wield even though she was neglecting her duties as the Imperial Princess.

Kana never showed her excellent abilities since she doesn’t want to be seen as a threat by the concubine’s faction. Since the emperor’s concubine bore a young prince, it was obvious who will be the next in line to the throne. But everything changed when the Emperor met his end. His death was only known by the highest officials of the palace and was yet to be announced to the public as it will bring panic to the whole empire especially that they only just won the war. They can’t let the neighboring nation learn about this. It was a race against time since everything will be found out sooner or later. 

The whole council was divided between the princess faction and the concubine faction. The concubine faction wanted to put the young prince on the throne as a puppet for power. But with the existence of the princess, they can’t do that yet since she holds the highest title among all nobles as she is the Imperial Princess of the Empire. 

So the princess proposed a plan to the council, if she has enough support to become the Empress they will approve of her to lead the Empire within the given timeframe that the council has given. If she can’t do it, they will marry her off to another Empire’s prince to strengthen the relationship of the Empire in order to avoid another war.

Both parties agreed to the princess’ plan since no matter what output the whole nation will benefit with her action. The ball was on the Imperial Princess’ court. Unbeknownst to the concubine faction, the princess has been doing god’s work for years just for this day to come. 

The princess has the backing of Helesta’s third princess as well as the Ouma Empire which is said to be blessed by the gods. The royal family of the Corvus Empire supports her as well. But they were outside forces. Her connections within the Empire were not strong enough. She needed a strong support that wasn’t connected to anyone who could stab her in the back in the near future.That’s when she remembered the young woman who caught her eye as she was roaming around the palace. The white-haired knight with the beautiful ruby-like eyes, whom they said to be the young lady of the Lagusa Family. 

The Lagusa Family has been one of the pillars of the Empire for years now. They own most of the biggest businesses in the Empire. They also have a strong military power on par with the royal family. The royal family wasn't threatened by them since they were elusive. The Duke is more interested with business rather than political affairs. So, no one can actually reach them to get connections since they rarely attend nor hold social gatherings. No one even knows how the Duchess looked like but unknown to them she has been going around the social circles trying to know the trends in order to help their business. 

On the other hand, the young lady of the family made a scene when she suddenly entered the palace to become a knight on behalf of her brother whom they said was sickly. Rumors were spreading that the young lady was trained since she was young and is on par with the veteran knights in terms of strength and power. At a young age, she showed promising potential and was knighted and became a dame. She was sent to war and won battles, often said she was unstoppable in the battlefield. After the war, she held her coming-of-age party and stayed in their household from then on. They said they were training her to become the next head of the family.

Kana saw this as an opportunity. Not only because of Sanya’s influence but she was fascinated by her as well. She admired her character. She sent her a message along with her intention to become the Empress, hoping that she will see her vision. To her surprise, she immediately got a reply and was looking forward to meeting Sanya from then on. 

xxxx

The day before Sanya would be stationed back to the palace, she decided to visit her brother.

"Elder brother," Sanya said as she opened the door to his brother’s room.

"Oh! Sanya,” her brother happily said.

His brother ordered the butler to bring in some snacks and drinks. As soon as everything was served, Sanya began munching on the chocolate cookies that she loved.

“What's up? It's rare for you to visit me.”

Sanya looked at him and smiled,"I became the princess' knight so I'll be living in the palace from now on.”

Her brother smiled as he clapped his hands, “Well done. I’m glad you didn’t forget the duty Father left you. Having a connection with the Imperial Family will help us expand our business in the Empire. You did well, my younger sister."

Sanya sighed, "To be honest, I didn’t expect her to do the first move. I was expecting her to take me as her lady in waiting but she wanted me to be her knight."

"You suit that more than being the princess' lady in waiting. You skipped your lessons when you were young and only learned etiquette and other stuff then got hooked to swordsmanship."

"If I keep doing lessons, Mother will drag me to gatherings with her. You know how much I hated interacting with other nobles.”

His brother laughed, “You hate human interaction to begin with but is fixated with a single human. How ironic.”

Sanya eyed him as she took a sip of her tea.

“I’ll be off tomorrow morning. You can send the butler to the palace if you need me for something. But I highly doubt it since you handle most of the affairs in the household.”

Before Sanya left his brother’s room, he then said, “Don’t forget about the promise, Kuzuha.”

She smiled at him and said, “I won’t.”

xxxx   


After moving into the palace, Sanya immediately began her duties as the princess’ knight. The princess then informed her about her upcoming plans and that was to attend the ball that the Marquess was holding over the weekend. Sanya was already informed about this since she saw the invitation when she was doing her paperworks that she brought to the palace. Kana was planning to announce her existence as the Imperial Princess since most of the people she socialized with are attending the event. 

“So, we are attending in order to show the nobles the strength of your power?” Sanya asked.

The princess nodded. “Yes, that’s the plan.”

“I don’t like this plan because I hate the crowd. But this will increase my connections with the other nobles as well,” Sanya honestly replied.

“This is why I like you,” Kana smiled at Sanya. “You’re not afraid to voice what you think. Just like you, I can’t stand the other nobles. But I swear, there are a few of them with a good heart.”

All Sanya could do was sigh, she doesn’t exactly trust people that easily unless she knows their intention but if it was someone who the princess knows. She has to do what she can.

In order to make things fair for both of them, Sanya won’t go down without a plan. She then told the princess, “I’ll go. With the condition that you’ll wear the dress that I designed from our shop. This will catch the attention of those in high society. So make sure to do a lip service for us, princess. The shop will greatly benefit if you wear our new collection,” she said with greed in her eyes.

“Alright. I’ll inform my lady-in-waiting right away. How about you, then? What will you wear?”

“You’ll find out on that day, princess,” Sanya said as she smiled.

The day of the ball came and as rumors began to circulate, the event held by the Marquess was highly anticipated among the ladies of the high society as well as the social circle since the Imperial Princess announced her attendance as well as the Duchess of the Lagusa Family. Sanya thought that it would be nice if she also announced her standing there since it will benefit her and Kana.

When Sanya went to get Cana in her room, she was still preparing so she waited outside until her lady in waiting came to tell her to come in. The moment she opened the door, both of them were surprised. Cana was wearing a light blue dress with flowers that were embroidered with gold and silver threads, and beautifully adorned with pearls. It seemed like the dress was made just for her to wear. Her hair was adorned with jewels and flowers. She looked extremely beautiful in Sanya’s eyes that she can’t even avert her eyes.

“It looked so good on you. You look beautiful, Kana,” Sanya said as she looked at her in the eyes. Kana immediately felt embarrassed and flushed red. 

“Well, you look cool in your uniform. You even tied your hair back. You look more like a prince,” Kana teased.

Sanya just laughed, “Well, the princess needs an escort. So, there’s no suitable escort for you other than your knight.”

The two then burst into laughter. Soon, Kana’s butler told them that the carriage was ready and it’s now time for them to go.

On their way to the Marquess’ household, Sanya could feel the princess’ nervousness. She then reached for hand and told her, “It will be alright, Kana.” 

Kana smiled at her and said, “Thank you. Thank you for doing all of these things out of my whims.”

“Princess, humans are selfish and greedy. And that’s why they are endearing. Seeing them do everything that they want until they reach their goal is the most amusing thing I’ve seen. So, you don’t have to be nervous. You are the next Empress. Everyone will bow their heads and their eyes will be fixated on you. You are the most powerful person in the Empire. Remember Princess, you don’t need to please anyone. They have to please you.”

Sanya’s words empowered Kana. And that’s why sometimes she feels like Sanya was a different person, based on their conversations. There are times when she would give advice as if she lived that way before. Either way, she was more than thankful that she met Sanya. Without her, she won’t gain this much courage and confidence with everything she does. Now that they are nearing their goal, she just hopes that she’ll be the one who will remain and become the victor.

As they alight the carriage, Sanya squeezed Kana’s hand one last time and whispered to her, “Smile, your highness.”

Before they entered the door, their names were announced. The door slowly opened as they were blinded by the bright lights. When they looked down the banquet hall, all eyes were on them. No one saw this coming. The Imperial Princess together with the elusive Duchess. And at that exact moment they knew that the princess is a power to reckon. 

Nobles flocked the princess soon after she greeted the Marquess who was glad that she was able to attend the ball. The Marquess was a distant relative of the princess and has been the one looking out for her during her time in the palace. That’s why he was happy that she was able to build a connection with the Duke’s family.

A few nobles talked to Sanya throughout the night but not as much as Kana’s. There are still a few who are intimidated by her looks. Sanya then excused herself along with the Princess since Kana looked spent from dancing and talking with the nobles. Sanya found it weird that Kana didn’t speak the whole time they were inside the carriage. And the moment they arrived at the palace, Cana pulled Sanya towards her garden. She looked at her eyes as she said, “Let’s dance.”

Sanya was confused. “Princess, aren’t you tired?”

“No, I am not. Let’s dance. I wanted to dance with you but the nobles kept on flocking around me. I thought you were going to dance with me when you called me out earlier. It turned out that we were going home.”

“Don’t tell me,” Sanya then burst into laughter. “You were sulking the whole time.”

“I wanted to dance with you. It’s so unfair.”

Sanya then knelt on the ground and said, “Will the princess grant me this chance to dance?”

Kana looked so delighted and took her hand as she said, “Well, it can’t be helped.”

The two laughed as they danced around the garden. Twirling around like children who don't have any worries. 

“The most fun I had as a princess was when I was with you. I’m really glad that I met you, Sanya.” Kana said with a smile.

The feelings inside Sanya kept overflowing that she didn't know where to place them anymore. She’s been doing everything she can to help Kana. Of course, she wasn’t doing this because she is Kanae. She might look like him but they are different. She already proved that based on his past reincarnations. It’s just that the person in front of her was so desperate that she can’t help but extend her hands. So that she can remain standing on the ground. The princess has been through a lot of things in life. And Sanya wanted her to have the happiness she deserves.

xxxx

The judgement day came. And the nobles will now vote among themselves of whom they will put on the throne. Now that the news about the Emperor’s death was already out. The citizens of the Empire were leaning towards Kana. They have seen her before doing charity works and helping out one place and another around the Empire. She established a good name among the citizens that they wanted her to be the one to inherit the throne.

Kana decided to take a stroll on that day. Since it was part of the procedure for them to not attend the procedure, in order for the council to have a fair decision.

Sanya then prepared a picnic for the two of them. The two went snuck out of the palace to visit Kana’s favorite place. It can be reached by foot as it was the big tree on top of the hill located near the palace. You can see the capital from there and Kana usually visits that place when she runs away from her duties. She decided to go there since who knows when she can visit this lovely place once again.

“The end is here. So, no matter what happens, don’t leave my side, okay?” Kana told Sanya.

Sanya poured tea on the princess’ cup and said, “Why would I dare to leave the princess’ side?”

“Then, if they decided to let me marry someone from another Empire, take me away.”

Sanya laughed, “Where are we going then?”

Kana was surprised by Sanya’s answer. She was expecting that she would tell her off like the usual when she tried to tell her random things.

“Well, we’ll run away to the mountains. Build a cottage and grow flowers which we can sell to the town’s people. Then, we’ll ask your brother to bring us money if we become broke.”

Sanya laughed, “That doesn’t sound so bad.”

“Right?” 

Kana’s eyes brightened when Sanya agreed with her. 

“But I am quite positive that the princess will become the Empress and will lead the country so we don’t have to do that.”

The two of them were sitting under the shade of the huge tree which grows beautiful white fragrant flowers. It was truly a lovely day since the weather was nice. It felt great to be out of the palace once in a while.

Out of the blue, Kana said, “I wonder if I'll be able to fall in love.” 

Sanya was slowly getting concerned with the topics that the princess was coming about.

“I'm sure you will,” Sanya replied.

“But if I did, I wish I wouldn't be seen as a princess but rather as myself. How about you?”

“I stopped yearning for love,” Sanya replied.

Kana felt her heart wrench when she saw Sanya's longing gaze.

“Eh? Who broke your heart, Sanya?”

Sanya laughed, “What will you do?”

“I will break his arms,” Kana seriously said.

As Sanya burst into laughter, Kana realized how much she loved her company. It was only then that she could be herself. Sanya saw her as herself and not as a princess. And that makes things comfortable around them. It was then that Kana recognized the feelings that she had for Sanya. 

A strong wind came by. And the flowers from the tree they were sitting under fell on Kana. Now, she is surrounded by beautiful white flowers.

Sanya leaned towards Kana as she removed the flowers from her hair. She then said as she smiled, "You look like a flower fairy." 

“Sanya,” Kana said with a serious look in her eyes. 

“What is it, Kana?” 

Kana looked around and when she didn't see anyone around, she planted a kiss on Sanya's cheek. She actually wanted to tease Sanya to see her reaction but seeing how she reacted just made what she felt for her clear. 

Sanya flushed red. And can't even mutter a single word as she hid her face from the princess. Kana then grabbed her hand as she intertwined her hand with Sanya's. She rested her head on Sanya’s shoulder as she muttered, "I'm glad that I met you, Sanya. I really am."

xxxx

The day of the coronation came as Kana won the hearts of the nobles after learning about the beneficial connections that the princess has established throughout the years. It was raining words of praise whenever you heard her name. They said that she will be the most promising among those who sat on the throne.

Sanya watched Kana get ready. She was wearing the dress that she designed like usual.This time, the dress made her look more dignified. It was a white dress embroidered with gold and blue threads. The dress was adorned by small gems. It was simple yet captivating. The moment she wore the cape, the aura of an Empress began to exude around her.

The lady in waiting left the room as Sanya gave her gift to Kana. Beautiful blue jewels that compliments the dress, they were the same color as her eyes.

“Can I say something funny?” Kana said as soon as she finished putting everything on.

“What is it, Kana?” 

“Do you know that it feels like we’ve met somewhere before?”

“Eh?” Sanya was surprised by what she heard from Kana, “Why do you think so?”

“I just had a feeling that we met in our previous life,” she said as she grabbed her hand. “Wouldn’t that be funny that we met again in this life as well?”

Sanya somehow had a bad feeling but she decided to brush it off. Kana reached for her face and gave her a kiss. Sanya was too stunned upon feeling the princess’ lips on hers.

“My gift to you. A princess' kiss means protection, right? But Kana’s kiss means something else. I will tell you what it means when the coronation ends.”

Sanya stood still as she felt all the pain she went through her previous life. She doesn’t like where this was going. But Sanya assured herself that nothing will happen this time. She didn’t become a knight for nothing. She was there to protect Kana so she will do everything she can to protect her until the end.

The ceremony began. The Empress’ throne room was filled with silence as Kana solemnly walked towards the throne. Everybody’s eyes were on her. After the priest gave his blessing and crowned her as the Empress was the time Sanya heaved a sigh of relief. Everything is fine now.

As part of the tradition, everyone will cheer for the new ruler as they all drink the wine provided by the palace. Everything was checked according to Kana’s orders. And as everyone simultaneously shouted, “Long live the Empress!” Kana raised her cup and drank the wine and everyone followed after. As soon as she removed the cup from her mouth, Cana threw up blood and fell down on the ground.

Sanya rushed towards the princess’ side as everyone shouted in horror. The Knights immediately tried to secure the area so that no one could escape. It was a disaster. Everyone was in turmoil as they witness the assassination of the Empress right before their eyes. 

“Sanya, is that you?” Cana said as she continued to cough out blood. “I’m sorry. I can’t see you. It’s getting dark.”

Sanya was hysteric. “Princess, listen to me. I’ll-”

Kana cut her off and said, “I’m okay. I am just glad that I get to spend my last breath with you.”

She then could feel warm drops of water on her face. She tried to smile and said, “Are you crying?” She was trying to reach for Sanya’s face. She grabbed Kana's hand and held it tightly, “Sanya, stop crying. This is an order. Come closer.”

Sanya’s tears won’t stop the moment Kana whispered the same old words she kept hearing from all of her past reincarnations.

_ “I wish you happiness.” _

Kana breathed her last breath as Sanya watched her body turn cold in her arms. As Sanya hugged Kana’s cold corpse, memories of them being together flashed before her eyes. The princess has a peaceful look on her face as Sanya sat her up on the throne as if saying that she is her one and only Empress. As the whole palace was in chaos, Sanya knelt down in front of her. She unsheathed her sword, killing all the people involved behind her assassination, the whole concubine faction.

The people who witnessed everything described her as a beast with shining red eyes as she put an end on everyone without mercy. Her brother teleported inside the palace the moment he felt the overflowing hatred from there. The golden carpet that was in the middle of the throne room was now soaked in red. The peaceful ceremony looked like a battlefield.

Sanya never once killed during the war. She just knocked everyone out until they lost consciousness and let someone else do the killing. 

His brother sighed as he looked at her, “Kuzuha, you broke the promise.”

“Why do we always meet this kind of fate?” Sanya said as tears fell down endlessly from her eyes. “I’m sorry, Elder Brother. Some promises are meant to be broken.” She sadly smiled at her brother before stabbing herself and slowly turned into dust.

That’s how Kuzuha broke the promise they had with his father.

And that promise was, “To never kill any humans.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, everyone! Happy Valentine's Day! I hope you enjoyed reading this chapter as much as I enjoyed writing it as this one hits home the most since it resembles what I was working on. With everything settled down with my work, I hope I can update frequently from now on. Thank you so much for leaving kudos, for the bookmarks, as well as for the comments. Like what I always say, I truly appreciate them all. I hope everyone will have a nice day! Until the next update! :)


	5. of spring

Kanae actually didn't know how to react to Kuzuha's story. It was the first time he was at loss for words. Even for someone like him who writes tragic stories, that was too much for him to take in. While his writing is just a fragment of his imagination, Kuzuha lived through it. 

The noticeable change in Kanae's expression caught Kuzuha's eye. 

"That's just one of many," Kuzuha said as he began brewing another cup of tea.

"Don't tell me that all of the lives you've been through was tragic?"

Kuzuha auspiciously smiled, "You'll find out."

Based on Kuzuha's reply, it seems like he was planning to do more of this in the future. It was indeed in Kanae's favor since he can't hide the fact that he was intrigued after that story. It is not everyday that you'll hear a story from an immortal being. But, he was worried that Kuzuha was subjecting himself to remember all the sad memories he had.

"Is it really okay? " Kanae asked once again. 

"What is?" 

"For you to tell me your stories, I don't want you to go through sad memories."

"It's fine," Kuzuha smiled. "I won’t do this if I’m not doing it with my own free will. I have a lot of time anyway. It's better than doing nothing, right?"

Kanae thought for a moment, "Then, can you hear me out?"

"Sure. What is it?"

"Since, I feel bad that I am the only one who's receiving. In exchange for your stories, I'll give you my blood."

"No,” Kuzuha said in opposition to Kanae’s proposal. “What stupid idea is that?" 

“I’m okay with just telling you stories,” Kuzuha decided to brush off Kanae’s idea.

“But, I am not.”

Kanae looked so determined with his offer that all Kuzuha could do was sigh. It will be useless if he argues since Kanae will do everything to get what he wants, knowing how stubborn he is. 

"Alright, I'll humor you for once." Kuzuha said as he decided to play along.

Kanae was elated that he didn’t have to convince Kuzuha further. He watched Kuzuha stand up from his seat. As he sat beside him, he asked, “Is it on the neck like last time?”

“No,” Kuzuha said as he grabbed his arm. Even though Kuzuha looked like he didn’t want to do any of this, Kanae’s expression made him think that this was just fine so that Kanae would learn his lesson.

"You won't be that enthusiastic after this," Kuzuha thought. 

Kanae watched Kuzuha roll up his sleeve. He could feel his breath on his arm as he asked,

“Are you really sure you want to do this?”

As soon as Kanae agreed, Kuzuha sank his teeth on his arm. He felt a sharp pain the moment he was bitten. The pain slowly dissipated as he felt his whole body heat up. As soon as Kuzuha began to drink his blood, he felt electricity run down his body. He looked at Kuzuha and their eyes met. He couldn't help but be mesmerized by his red eyes as it glows beautifully with every sip of his blood. 

"Your eyes. They look like rubies," Kanae muttered.

Kanaria's image overlapped with Kanae as he reached for Kuzuha's face. Kuzuha immediately stopped drinking and hid his face.

“I’m sorry,” Kuzuha apologetically said.

“I’m the one who suggested it, so don’t be sorry.” Kanae smiled as he pressed his bleeding arms, “I’m looking forward to our next storytelling session.”

He stood up from his seat as he immediately tended his wounds while Kuzuha slumped against the sofa. His plan definitely backfired.

"This guy is dangerous," Kuzuha thought as he could feel the sweet taste that remained inside his mouth.

xxxx

“What are you up to?” Ryushen said. Their eyes were fixated to the bandage that was on Kanae’s arm. “It seems like I've been seeing you in bandages lately. 

Kanae smiled as he grabbed his arm, “Oh, it's nothing.”

Ryushen knew from Kanae’s tone of voice that he was up to something. And when he does, it’s usually up to no good. Since he won’t speak up, they know that they’ll find out about it sooner or later from a certain someone.

They grabbed something from their desk and said, “By the way, the first batch of your latest book has been printed. The publisher sent us a copy earlier.”

Ryushen handed it to Kanae who glumly smiled, “So, it’s finally here.”

“I am sure that it will be another hit.”

“Hit or not. I have already fulfilled my duty. I hope this will make her happy.”

After the meeting, Kanae went back home. On his way back, he can’t help but feel excited. He can’t wait to show Kuzuha his latest book, knowing that he is a huge fan of his. Lately, the distance between him and Kuzuha became shorter. He was more open around him especially after the story telling sessions.

Kanae liked the idea of the sessions since he was learning more about Kuzuha. But the stories he told him made him realize how much sadness Kuzuha carries. For some reasons, Kanae felt that he might be seeing someone else in him. The train stopped like Kanae’s thoughts. He wondered, "Is it Yuri?"

“I’m home,” Kanae said as he opened the door.

“Welcome back,” Kuzuha replied as he finished his Crash Bros match.

Kanae sat down beside him. He pulled out something from his bag and said, “Here.”

Kuzuha can’t believe his eyes as he grabbed the book that Kanae written. “Is it really okay for me to have this?”

“Of course,” Kanae laughed since Kuzuha looked extremely happy, “You’ll have the privilege to become the first reader of my latest book. Tell me your thoughts about it, okay?”

“It seems like that the trend didn’t end,” Kuzuha said as he smiled.

“Eh? What do you mean?” 

“When _‘fleeting’_ was in its early stages, Yuri made me read it. Then, she asked for my opinions.”

Kanae can’t believe what he was hearing. Is Yuri for real? 

“So, you’re the beta reader she was talking about. Yuri, she is truly a formidable woman.”

Kuzuha somehow felt that the two of them were set-up by Yuri. If she did, then she made the right choice. He can never thank her enough if she truly did. Kanae then excused himself since he wanted to take a rest. Before leaving he asked Kuzuha what he wanted to eat for dinner and he happily replied, “Omurice.” 

‘ _Beautiful Chaos’_

Kuzuha opened the book and just as he expected it was dedicated to her. He traced the words written on the foreword, “To you, I offer a thousand lilies.”

As he reads the book, he slowly comes into realization that it was about Yuri. From what he knew, Kanae doesn’t use people as his muse but it seems like Yuri was an exception. He must have liked Yuri for her to become the protagonist of his latest book. 

xxxx

  
  


“So, what are you planning from now on?” Yuri asked as she began smoking her favorite cigarettes.

“I’ll listen to your advice for once.”

She almost dropped the cigarette in her mouth, “Are you for real? Am I dreaming?”

“I’ll stop searching for him from now on.”

Yuri ruffled his hair and said, “That’s great. Didn’t I tell you that it’s time to let go? Who knows he might come to you this time.”

“Nonsense,” Kuzuha muttered. He then looked at her who looked like was in a bliss as she continued smoking, “You should listen to me as well and stop smoking.”

Yuri then laughed and said, “Ah, this is interesting. Someone told me the same exact words a while ago.”

He just watched Yuri as she smiled and said, “ I’ll introduce him to you. I’m sure that you two will get along just fine.”

Kuzuha smiled, “Then, I’m looking forward to that.”

“Should I cast you a spell?”

Kuzuha hated hearing those words. “I don’t need any.”

“Well, I’ll still do it even if you don’t want it.” Yuri replied. She thought for a moment and said, “In this lifetime, you’ll be happy. That’s the spell that I’ll cast on you.”

Yuri was shocked when she saw Kuzuha’s tears slowly fall down from his eyes. “Is it okay for me to believe that?”

She smiled as she reached towards Kuzuha and gave him a pat on the back, “You can. And you will be.”

Yuri was the main reason why he started living for himself without the shackles that kept on binding him. That’s why he decided to live this lifetime without looking for him. Maybe, this time, he’ll find out what happiness truly is. But destiny, once again, demonstrated its hatred towards him since Kanae appeared in front of him. He doesn’t know if this was a curse or a miracle since he knows how things turned out in his previous life.

Yuri meant a lot to Kuzuha that’s why she left a void in his heart when she left. She was indeed a beautiful chaos.

Kuzuha opened his eyes with the book on his chest. It seems like nostalgia hit him hard for having that dream right after finishing the book. He somehow had the gist of how much Yuri meant to Kanae and just like him, she also made a huge mark in his life.

It was already past three. He sat up and saw Kanae outside the garden. Kuzuha checked out what he was up to, only to see him smoking under the cherry blossoms tree.

“Didn’t know that you smoke?” Kuzuha asked as he sat down beside Kanae.

“Well, a certain someone influenced me.”

“Yuri,” Kuzuha thought.

He then decided to change the topic by asking, “Are you re-enacting what you’ve written?”

Kanae laughed as he realized his current setting, “It was unintentional.”

> _As I threw up these ephemeral flowers stuck on my throat, I remembered the words that I could never tell a single soul. I breathe in. I gasp for air. Is this my punishment for wanting you to fall in love with me, too? Why is it that no matter what I do I can’t bring myself to forget about you?_
> 
> _Can you see me as I stretch my hands towards the sky? Light peeks on the spaces between my fingers as this life slips away right before my eyes._
> 
> _I took out your lighter from my pocket to light up the cigarette in between my fingers. As I put it in between my quivering lips, it reminded me so much of our nerve-wrecking kiss._
> 
> _Inhale. My memory of you._
> 
> _Exhale. A memory of us._
> 
> _No matter how many springs have passed, this parting leaves a sad aftertaste in my mouth. I love how smoking terribly reminds me of you. Maybe it’s because it is one of the things I loved about you._
> 
> _Watch me. As I fall on the ground, like the ashes from your favorite cigarette brand. Like the cherry blossoms from that tree where we first met. Like that time when you said those words that you never want to tell me. I closed my eyes as I watched our memories play inside my head. I can feel death as I took a deep breath._
> 
> _Before my eyes forcibly closed, I gave the blue sky a final look. I shall sleep under the tree where it all began. I can’t help but smile as I whispered these words for the wind to take._
> 
> _These words I call goodbye hoping that one day it will reach your side._
> 
> “ _Ah, what a wonderful day to die.”_

Kanae was left speechless. He didn’t expect Kuzuha to deliver the famous monologue of the protagonist from his book. And he did it so well that it was how he exactly imagined the scene to be. His deep husky voice as he delivered the lead’s final words as the wind swept away the cherry blossoms from the ground made him feel the things. He never knew that this passage can induce this kind of pain towards its readers since he never read _fleeting_ after publishing it.

“Did I do it justice?” Kuzuha asked as he excitedly looked at Kanae.

Before Kanae could answer, his stomach rumbled. He flushed red from the embarrassment while Kanae was holding back his laughter. He extended his arm towards him and said, “Here. I had a feeling that you’ll tell me a story today anyway. Early payment.”

Kuzuha sighed since he wasn’t planning to keep the blood drinking minimal as much as possible. As cherry blossom petals fell down from the tree, Kanae felt Kuzuha fangs sank on his arm.

xxxx

“Ouch,” the young master said as he watched the black cat run up the tree. As he walked towards where his cat escaped, he saw someone sleeping on the huge branch. “Excuse me, can you please help me get Roto down?”

The guy with long white hair looked down below as he saw the young man standing under the tree. He sighed as he grabbed the unwilling cat that ran up on the branch where he was peacefully resting.

The young man was surprised when he jumped down from that height with the cat who was resisting his hold. “Here.”

“You should treat that wound,” he said as he pointed out the wound that the cat made.

The young man wasn’t able to hear it at all as he was captivated by the ruby-like eyes that were looking straight at him. He was wearing a gakuran, and his unruly long white hair that glistened under the sunlight danced along the wind as the cherry blossoms fell down the tree. He looked like a spirit that dwells in the huge cherry blossom tree.

“Young master!” the butler called. The young man turned around to answer his butler’s call. 

The moment he looked back, he was no longer around.

“I’m sorry. I was looking for Roto.”

The butler sighed in relief, “It’s okay, young master. Roto is inside eating his lunch.”

The young master was confused as he gave the cherry blossom tree a final look.

Kuzuha looked at the black cat that was sitting beside him, “So, we see each other again.”

The cat meowed.

“I wonder how you’ll take him away from me this time,” he said as looked at the cat with the glowing green eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Like always, thank you for stopping by and giving a bit of your time to read what I wrote. To everyone leaving kudos, comments, subscribed, bookmarked, this story, I am eternally thankful. You don’t know how much it means to me, how much it motivates me to keep on writing. I hope you keep on enjoying this story as I’ve already written the end and all that is left is for me to write what happens in between. Until the next update, I hope you all have a great day!
> 
> PS. It's been a few days since the medley has been released. Did I ascend? Yes. I ascended but my soul was pulled down back to the mortal world so I could stream the medley for the nth time. I haven’t really collected all of my feelings after being thrown with all that fluff and angst. That's the end of my random rambling.


End file.
